My heart is heavy this morning, friends. It's one of those Mom things when you hope you are saying and doing the right thing but I often wonder. This morning on the way to school, my oldest was telling us about running laps around the field in PE and how she had run eleven laps without stopping. I told her that was great and what good exercise running is. I explained how I am not a runner, I wish I were but it's just not my cup of tea. I only run if I'm being chased, ha ha! She went on to tell us how towards the end she started getting a cramp in her side from running so much. I encouraged her to keep at it and if she enjoys it, her body can be conditioned to work through the cramps and build up her endurance. Now, I tell you all this to set the stage as to how we began talking about exercise.
Next, I hear my six year old ask, "Mom, will you let me do a diet?" "Do a diet?" I say. My SIX year old is asking me if she can go on a diet! What is the world coming to when 1st graders are concerned about their body fat. Why is this starting already? I sort of expected to deal with this some when the become teenagers but not at SIX! Well, naturally I began telling her that she did not need to "do a diet" she is perfect just the way she is but she said..."but I'm fat and I need to lose weight". My heart began to ache and the tears filled my eyes! You see, this is not the first time she has mentioned her weight or her body type. She's actually made reference to it several times over the past month. We've talked about it and I've tried to reassure her that she is not fat. Even her sisters, cousin and friends have told her the same. I told her we all come in different shapes and sizes, different colored hair, eyes, skin, different weight and heights etc, and that it doesn't matter what people look like on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts. But why doesn't she believe me?
Now, I know she's my kid and we all like to brag on our children....but this little girl is the sweetest, most precious little girl. Her heart is bigger than she is! She is so kind and thoughtful and nurturing and she has more friends than I can shake a stick at. So why doesn't she see that little girl in the mirror? What am I doing wrong? I know, I can certainly be a better example. I too, probably concern myself with my waistline far too much. Oh, how I wish I could fix everything but I can't. I've prayed for her but maybe now it is time to pray with her. I pray that I can be a good example to my girls and that God would give me the wisdom to teach them about their most precious attribute.....their heart!
AMW
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6 comments:
I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your sweet girls. Being a mom is so hard. I hate that we live in such a broken world and have to deal with seeing our kiddos struggle through so much yucky stuff. I'm praying for you.
P.S. I don't think that it's "something you're doing wrong," by the way. I think that it's the nature of the beast... this stuff creeps in and poisons all of our minds and hearts. Our media and culture have a huge influence on this, and our little ones are being exposed to a lot of it, a lot earlier... :(
Thats rough Anne Marie. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes reading it, knowing that we are all in this boat together.
I think you are right on in praying WITH your daughters.
I don't do it often enough, but I know the times I have, the results are amazing.
I think it reiterates to our kids what we are trying to instill in them, and it helps them learn how to talk to God about these issues as well.
In you praying with her, she may then have the words to know how to pray herself in her own 6 year old little way.
Gosh we moms need to stick together and lift each other up more.
Thanks for sharing today.
I have struggled with this with Zach he thinks he is less because Eric is so skinny but we have had long talks about and it is so hard. I remember at Chick-fil-a when Zach was about 4 a little kid called him fat and it just broke his heart. I tell him the things that you have and over the years it has gotten better. He still struggles with it but knows that his body type is just as wonderful as anybody else and that he is wonderful. I promise she hears just keep telling her. I will be praying for your sweet baby girl.
Oh, this breaks my heart. YES! Pray with her! It also shows her that God does care and will listen to our every cry. I have just recently started praying with the kids, mainly Carson, after he disobeys. Asking God to teach him and mold him and forgive him. I think if Macy hears you asking God to restore her self-confidence, and to put her confidence in Him.....it will be a really good thing!! And ask Jason to pray with y'all. I think a father can have a HUGE impact in this area as well!
You are all constantly in my prayers! Love you!
i remember writing out a diet plan in second grade. ive always struggled with my weight and had a mom who was VERY different than you. i was never taught about food groups or "special treats" or moderation. it was whatever you want whenever you want however much you want. and it only got worse in middle school when i would get her to buy me diet pills, and shed do it! looking back at pictures i think "why in the world did she buy me those when i was a size 4??". not to mention the damage it did to my metabolism which is now why i struggle ever harder with my weight. none of your girls have weight problems and from the looks of you and jason, they never will. i think you are doing the right thing by praying with her and showing her that everyone looks different but as long as you are healthy youre good to go!
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